A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
"You have to help me, I hurt all over.', said the woman.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.
The doctor looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and asked, "Are you a natural blonde?"
"Why, yes," she said.
"I thought so," said the doctor, "You have a broken finger."
A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said "I can't take this, you're my friend."
The blonde said "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
Three blondes walk into a bar and ask the bartender for three shots of tequila. He looks at them and says "OK" and pours their shots.
They all clink glasses and and yell "51 days!" Then they proceed to slam the shots, looking very self-satisfied. They look back to the bartender and decide to order another round. This time they pick up the glasses again and, more gleefully yell " Only 51 days!"
The bartender finally can't stand wondering what they are talking about and asks them what they mean by Only 51 days.
One of the blondes looks at him and says "Well," looking very smug. "We "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It took us Only 51 Days.....and on the box it said 4-7 years"
A blonde named Anna had a near death experience the other day when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When this happened, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager happened to walk by and unplug it.
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell, she's got the grenade in her mouth!
Why did the blonde have lipstick on her steering wheel?
She was trying to blow the horn.